GRIDIRON WEST DINNER 2004 ł ¦BEATLES˛ LYRICS

 

Help!

Help! We need somebody,

Help! Could be anybody,
Help! You know we need someone
Help!

When we were younger and much dumber than today
We never needed politiciansĂ help in any way
But now those days are gone and

WeĂre full of brand new fears
Now we find that all the time

WeĂre trying to save our rears.

Help us if you can weĂre feeling down

Cause we voted in a real bunch of clowns
Help us get our feet back on the ground
WonĂt you please, help me

Help me

Help de-mo-cra-cy—

 

A Day in Our Lives


I read the news today, oh boy
About a challenger who lost the race

And though his face was rather sad
Well, someone had to lose
When it came time to choose.

He risked it all on battlegrounds

But it was over when Ohio called
The voters showed him to the door
TheyĂd seen his type before

They decided that he wasnĂt any better than—Al Gore!

 

A Long Election Night

 

It was a long Election night,
And you were fighting like cats and dogs

It was a long Election night,

And you were squealing like stuck hogs,      
Now that weĂve e-lected you,
We hope the things that you do,
Will make us feel all right.

You know we work all day,
To pay our taxes; you live like kings.

And itĂs funny just to hear you say

YouĂre gonna give us evĂrything

WeĂve got good reason to moan,

We need to take out a loan,
For all the taxes that we pay.
When IĂm home, IĂm trying with all of my might,

When IĂm home, taxes are squeezing me

Tight, tight, YEAH!

 

Election


You say you want an honest election
Well, you know
We all want to change the world.
You say you want a new direction
Well, you know
LetĂs wait ‘til all the votes are in

But when you talk about a recount
DonĂt you know that you can

Count me out.

DonĂt you know itĂs gonna  be— all night
ItĂs gonna be— all night

John Kerry said he had a solution
Well, you know
I guess we never saw his plan.
Bush asked me for a contribution,
Well, you know
I dropped a nickel in the can.

But if you all voted for people that just donĂt rate,
All I can tell you is well, you deserve your fate.

We just hope itĂs gonna be— all right,
We hope itĂs gonna be— all right.

 

Election Day


Election Day, all my troubles seemed so far away    

Now it looks as though theyĂre here to stay
Oh, I can blame Election Day.

Suddenly, all my candidates are used-to-beĂs

ThereĂs a chad thatĂs hanging over me

Election Day irregularity?

Why they had to lose, I donĂt know, I couldnĂt say

Voters voted wrong ł or stayed home Election Day.

Election Day, thatĂs when voters get to have their say

TheyĂll be smarter the next time, I pray

Oh, whenĂs the next Election Day?


All You Need Is Votes


Votes, votes, votes,

votes, votes, votes, votes, votes.

ThereĂs no race you can win if you donĂt run

No office you can lose that canĂt be won
Politics is war without the guns:

But it can be fun.
ItĂs democracy!

ThereĂs no one you can buy who canĂt be paid     

No initiative proposed canĂt be waylaid
All we have to do is learn to mark our absentees

ItĂs democracy!

All you need are votes, all you need are votes,
All you need are votes— votes,

Votes are all you need.
 

Lady Madonna

Congressman Nethercutt, now that youĂve been beat
Wonder how youĂll manage to make ends meet?
Congressman Nethercutt, whyĂd you have to lose?
Especially to a momma in tennis shoes!


Tuesday night it seemed was never ending
WednĂsday morning papers made you numb
Thursday night the message they were sending:
SheĂs not so dumb!

Congressman Nethercutt, now that youĂve been beat
Maybe President Bush will help you land on your feet!

 

In DC/Olympia


Georgie was a longshot in the Senate race
Patty had the victory in her hand

Patty said to Georgie, get out of my face
And Patty sang this

As she rubbed him in the sand:

In DC—O-lym-pia, life goes on— blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, life goes on
In DC—O-lym-pia, life goes on— blah

Blah, blah, blah, blah, life goes on

Dino took a flyer in the GovernorĂs race,
The GOP thought he could beat Christine.

She fought hard and it looks like she held her base
Now weĂre waiting till they count the absentees.

In DC—O-lym-pia, life goes on— blah,

Blah, blah, blah, blah, life goes on

In DC—O-lym-pia life goes on— blah,
Blah, blah, blah, blah, life goes on.

So if you want some fun ł say DC—O-lym-pia!

 

Washington News CouncilĂs Watch Dog Board


(DAVID & BEATLES SING):

It was six years ago today

The News Council came out to play
TheyĂve been working to improve their style
But theyĂre guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you
The act youĂve known for all these years,

Washington News CouncilĂs Watch Dog Board!

 

(WNC BOARD MEMBERS SING):

WeĂre the Washington News CouncilĂs

Watch Dog Board,
We hope you will enjoy the show
WeĂre the Washington News CouncilĂs
Watch Dog Board

Sit back and let the evening go.
Washington News CouncilĂs,

Washington News CouncilĂs,
Washington News CouncilĂs Watch— Dog— Board!

 

WeĂre Going to Lose That Girl) (for Jennifer)

WeĂre gonna lose that girl, (WeĂre gonna lose that girl)

WeĂre gonna lose that girl,

You know sheĂs bowing out tonight,

And she wonĂt change her mind, (No she wonĂt change her mind)

She says there is no doubt tonight,

Though sheĂs been wined and dined. (yes, sheĂs been wined and dined)
WeĂre going to lose that girl, (WeĂre gonna lose that girl)

WeĂre going to lose that girl,

We didnĂt treat her right, my friend,

And now weĂll find her gone, (And now weĂll find her gone)

Dave ReichertĂs now our plight

Well, heĂs the one with a gun. (Yes, heĂs the one with a gun)

WeĂre going to lose that girl, (WeĂre gonna lose that girl)
WeĂre going to lose that girl,
WeĂre going to looooooose that girl!

 

House Husband (for Gary Locke)

 

HeĂs a real House Hus-band

Sitting in House Husband Land
Making his House Husband plans with Mona Lee.

DoesnĂt have a thing to do,
No Republicans to screw,

Now heĂs just a guy like you and me.

House Hus-band, please listen
DonĂt regret what youĂre missinĂ
House Husband, the di-a-pers are at your command.

HeĂs as busy as he can be,
Plays with Dylan and Emily
House Husband itĂs time to help with Number 3

House Husband, donĂt worry

Take your time, donĂt hurry
You can stall till Mona Lee

Takes over the chore.

HeĂs a real House Hus-band

Sitting in House Husband Land
Making his House Husband plans with Mona Lee.

Making his House Husband plans with Mona Lee.

Making his House Husband plans with Mona Lee.

 

When IĂm Sixty-four (for Jennifer Dunn)
 

When I get old, stop dying my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be telling me that I look fine
Aging like a bottle of wine?
If I throw out my arthritic knee
And canĂt walk no more
Will you still miss me, will you still kiss me,
When IĂm sixty-four?

Will you still miss me, will you still kiss me,
When IĂm sixty-four?

 

Taxman (for Gary Locke)


Let me tell you how it will be,
ThereĂs one for you, nineteen for me,
‘Cos IĂm the Taxman,
Yeah, IĂm the Taxman.

Should 10 percent appear too small,
Be thankful I donĂt take it all,
‘Cos IĂm the Taxman,

IĂm the Taxman.

If you drive a car, IĂll tax the street,
If you try to sit, IĂll tax your seat,
If you get too cold, IĂll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, IĂll tax your feet.

Taxman.

Come Together (for Gary Locke)

Here come old Gary he come governinĂ slowly
He got voo-doo finance he one budget cutter
He got hair down to his eyes

All he really wants is to be one of the guys.

He keeps his shoes shined he got Boy Scout Eagle

Went to Franklin High School, but not to U.W.

He say, ¦I go Yale, B.U. too˛

When I am a lawyer then IĂll know how to sue.

Come together— right now— vote for me.
He got elected to the Legislature       

He got Mona onboard he one lucky cracker

He begged her —down —on his knees

When she saw his budget she became his Main Squeeze

Come together— right now—.Emily!

He ran for Governor he beat Ellen Craswell

Then beat Johnny Carlson he had Oly Mojo

He say ¦One term, two term, but not three˛

Maybe heĂs good-looking with that hair you canĂt see

Cause youĂll never— again— vote for me.

 

Jenny in the Sky With Diamonds (for Jennifer Dunn)

Picture yourself in a yacht on blue water,
With federal pension and Keith at your side
Somebody calls you, you hang up quite slowly
Call Dave Reichert you calmly advise.

Spinnaker sails of red, white and blue,
Billowing over your head.

Look for the girl who told Congress goodbye

And sheĂs gone.

Jenny in St. JohnĂs with diamonds.

Jenny in St. JohnĂs with diamonds.

Jenny in St. JohnĂs with diamonds—

Ahhhhh—.

Follow her record for 10 years in Congress
Where GOP members and Democrats vied

Everyone smiled while the federal deficit

Grew so incredibly high.

Newspaper reporters appear on the shore
Wanting to hammer away.

Sail off on the yacht with your head in the clouds,

And theyĂre gone.

Jenny in St. JohnĂs with diamonds,

Jenny in St. JohnĂs with diamonds.

Jenny in St. JohnĂs with diamonds

Ahhhhhhh—.

 

Twist and Shout

Well, shake it up, Gary, now,  (shake it up, Gary)
Twist and shout  (twist and shout)
CĂmon, cĂmon, cĂmon, cĂmon, Gary, now, (come on, Gary)
We know youĂre glad that youĂre out. (glad that youĂre out)

Now, Jenny work it on out, (work it on out)
You know you look so good. (look so good)
We know youĂre glad youĂre retirinĂ, now, (glad youĂre retirinĂ)
Just like you knew you would. (like you knew you would)

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh—.!

Well, shake it up, Patty, now, (shake it up, Patty)
Twist and shout  (twist and shout)
CĂmon, cĂmon, cĂmon, cĂmon, Patty, now  (come on Patty)
Now that youĂve really got clout.  (really got clout)

Well, who will be our next Gov? (Be our next Gov?)
Will it be Dino or Christine? (Dino or Christine?)
We may not know until Thanksgiving now (till Thanksgiving)
While they count all those absentees (absentees)

Well, shake it, Gary, Jenny, Patty, now. (shake it up, baby)                                                   

Well, shake it, Reichert, Dino, Chrissie, now.  (shake it up, baby)                           

Well, shake it, Rob, Sam, Doug and Terry now. (shake it up, baby)

Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, voters, now. (shake it up voters)

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh—

Ahhhh!

 

(All lyrics by John Hamer, with sincere apologies to The Beatles.)